... here in my room...

   

No, that's not from a motel, dear. That's my room. So flick those oogly eyes back into their sockets.

OK, after staring at my computer screen I still can't think of anything worthy of writing. And tendrils of autisticness that I'm trying desperately to hide are beginning to creep out of me. I now am talking to myself, which is quite normal actually, except that there are people around me who are starting to get noxious.

Through a conversation with a friend, I suddenly remembered that I have accomplished quite a few significant things-- concerning my room. I realized that I have somehow broken through the bonds of my mom's obsessive-compulsiveness. When I was younger I had always thought that my room is exclusively my mom's property, and that she has got the right to dictate whatever design she wants, even if my room ends up like a colorblind interior designer's masterpiece. No protests accepted.

I finally managed to incorporate some of my own decors I found somewhere and thought it would be nice to put in my room. Like the glassy-green windchime I placed where the electric bug zapper once hung. It was a fine bug zapper, but after years of reliably zapping big fat insects, it fizzled out. So instead of letting the poor thing hang there as an ornament and gather cute little spider houses which, ironically, just defeats the bug zapper's former purpose, I just took it down and hung the windchime. Then I realized the transparent greenness of the chimes didn't stand out very well, so if you didn't look closely, you wouldn't notice it. And no matter how much wind I generate from the electric fan, the thing won't blow around and clink melodiously. So imagine my frustration. Anyway, my mom didn't protest about the new decor-- that is, if she noticed it.

Next would be the glow-in-the-dark stars I stuck on my bedroom walls. I just saw them at a toy store, and they just looked cute, plus they're cheap, so I bought a bag of those. I spent almost an hour just planning on where to stick it-- on my mirror, on my electric fan, on my study table, on my forehead... Then I finally decided to stick it on my wardrobe doors. Since of course, I still have my OC-ness, I balanced the number of stars on the left and right door. There were three extra stars, so I stuck them above a  picture. The next day I half expected my mom to tear the stars off the walls, but I was surprised she asked where I bought them 'cause she'd like to get some. So much for my expectations. Too bad. I was already armed and ready to re-stick them again.

As much as I enjoy more freedom to decorate my room as I please, I won't go into drastic changes. For now, my mom isn't complaining that my study table's crammed with garbage and old books. I just couldn't find the time to sort out the mess, and I don't use the study table a lot anymore. At least my mom's not snooping around the disaster area. I'm contented with that. I'm not too territorial, although I don't like anyone stepping on my turf without permission. When somebody barges in, I hiss.

OK, OK, I admit this is a stupid entry. At least there's an update. And I gave you a free trip to my room. Right now I gotta arrange my side table lamps diagonally, my mom keeps on reverting them back to a parallel orientation.

Hala, sige!
Maghanap ka ng taho!
Umuwi ka ng maaga at hindi namamalayan ng iba!
Pagtawanan mo ang 'spaghitte'!
Lagyan mo ng kulay ang mundo ng iba!
Bumirit ka sa opisina kahit sintonado ka!
Kulitin mo ang mga barista sa Starbucks!

Hehe, I'm just plain crazy, yeah yeah.

I have a bunch of stuff that needs to be posted but didn't have time. First thing, I had to reformat my home PC. And since it's my first time in reformatting the hard drive, I had to learn how to partition the little freak. Then there came the installing of essential components. And I created user accounts so that me and my sister would have more privacy in viewing documents. I've still to install YM and Nero, and configure my sister's account-- she can't even find the IE the first time she used her account, but after texting me for help on that, she eventually found it out herself (praning rin 'to e, ayaw muna mag-investigate, panic mode agad). It took me half a day to configure everything (excluding my sister's account). Anyhow, there's still the weekends ahead.

---

I fixed the ceiling light in my room last weekend. It has gone berserk starting last Wednesday night. Upon checking it (after heaving the stepladder up the stairs into my room), I had to replace the starter, then made a mental note that the starter plug's disintegrating and needs replacement. I thought the light would hold on till weekend, but then, Thursday night it just gave out. I can't start it anymore. My dad promised to replace the starter plug the next day, but I came home Friday night only to find out he forgot (as expected, hehe). What the heck, I'll fix it myself! I asked my dad to leave some screwdrivers, a long nose, electrical tape, a new ceiling light, and of course the starter plug, since he and my mom's going to Tagaytay for the weekend.

 

The next day I set to work fixing the light. First thing, I hate bringing out the stepladder, it's in our creepy garden shed and I hate encountering creepy-crawly things that exist in the shed. I finally managed to bring out the ladder and brought it to my room. I turned off the mains first (our maid thought there was a power failure) to keep myself from getting electrocuted. Then after 15 minutes of connecting loose wires-- IT IS DONE! I was apprehensive when I turned the mains back on, expecting my room to have a dazzling fireworks display, but then I flipped the switch. Oh yes, at last, it is fixed. Never use a man to do a woman's job. Hehehe.

My ceiling light's bright again, but the starter sucks. A lot of flickering is needed before the light turns on. It's an epileptic's nightmare. But it's good to go.

Hehehe... Here's the song I really, really liked in my countless rounds of listening to this CD.

Buwan
by: Wickermoss

Sa aking paggising, pangarap kang makita
Pagpintig ng puso mayroong kaba
Di ko mailihim, ningning sa aking mata
Balang araw ako'y umaasa na ika'y makapiling
Sabay ng dalangin at pagbilog ng buwan

Paglipas ng araw, pangarap ko'y ganap
Ako'y iyong nasa isip, ako'y hanap-hanap
Di raw panaginip
Sa isang iglap magkasama tayo sa alapaap
At hawak-kamay at sabay na humahanga sa
Ganda't liwanag ng buwan

Masdan mo giliw, langit sa piling mo
Mundo'y gumaganda
Bawat hinga'y laan sa iyo
Sa bawat ihip at bulong ng hangin ay
Mundo'y iikot lang sa iyo

Dahil sa pagsubok, lahat ba'y may hangganan
Pag di inukol, walang hahantungan
Hayaan na lang isipin, hayaang maghangad
Mugtong-matang hawak ko, tangi mong larawan
At habang ako ay mag-isang nakatanaw
Sa pagluha ng buwan

Says it all... I love this album, it makes me smile.

May praning kasing tao diyan... hahaha! This one's for you! *hugz*

At long last, I am back.

Not that I didn't want to post an entry during the past week that I became dormant, it's just that I had no choice. Something ugly came up and it involved tinkering with our Windows system. Apparently my sister just had to open a website which downloaded a spyware that can't be removed by ordinary means. So we were stuck with the Internet Explorer containing an error message that can't be fixed. I tried changing the homepage in vain-- it just defaults back to the error message. So there, we couldn't access the Internet last week. Until now. Well I installed a different browser, and at least now you can use the Internet, except that there's still that annoying pop-up from the stupid spyware. Since all my efforts of cleaning it up is just pointless, I'm going to reformat the whole PC when I have time.

Angel II and Tootsie got castrated, so now there are no worries of catfights and feline overpopulation. When we took them back home after the surgery, Tootsie was half-epileptic and Angel II was stoned. Tootsie recovered earlier, sucking his big thumb in the process. Angel II was a bit weaker, since she was in heat the past few days and didn't eat anything since the night before. So we had to confine her in the house, where she spent the night sleeping like a baby.

As for me, this is my first day of work after a long year-end vacation. And I'm starting it with a naughty pimple and a nasty cold. As I woke up from my drug-induced sleep, all I want to do is curl back up in my sheets and wish that it's still vacation. I wanna go home. Hehehe. Batugan!

It's a happy day with Downy
Pag nag-Downy na si Mommy...

Ang entry na ito ay para sa mga-- you know-- out there.

Alam ko mahirap ang buhay ngayon, lalo na't heto, magbabagong taon na, at alam ko na may pangangailangan kayo, ngunit di niyo man lang naiisip na lahat tayo may mga pangangailangan rin, yun nga lang mas malaki siguro ang sa inyo. Pero sana magsikap nalang kayo, imbes na mamerwisyo pa ng ibang tao para lang guminhawa buhay niyo. Kung malinis sana ang iyong mga hangarin, mas malaki pang reward ang makukuha ninyo. And that's not only here on Earth, I guess pati na rin sa Itaas. Minsan pa, nakakasakit pa kayo ng tao, para lang makuha ang isang bagay na kung tutuusin, di tutumbas iyon sa buhay na ipinapahamak ninyo. Hindi na siguro mahalaga ang buhay sa inyo noh? Masyado kayong makasarili. Buhay niyo lang ang iniisip niyo. E kung ang dahilan ninyo ay pamilya ninyo, puwes, me pamilya rin naman ang binibiktima ninyo. E kung kamag-anak niyo ang napahamak dahil sa isang tulad niyo rin na pamilya rin ang dahilan kaya nagawa niya yun? Ikot-ikot lang yan. So huwag nalang kayo mambiktima. Babalik at babalik sa inyo ang nararapat para sa inyo. Masaya man ang mga araw niyo sa una, bandang huli makikita niyo rin. 

Pare-parehas lang ang buhay natin. Magkaiba lang ang landas. Everything's by choice.

---

To that someone out there, no matter how much I want to curse you and wish all things bad at you, I should be righteous with myself and be merciful to others. Sana matutubos mo na ang mga pangangailangan mo, maging sa pamilya o sa sarili mo. And I hope itigil mo na ang mga pambibiktima, baka ikaw lang rin ang mapapahamak sa huli. At pamilya mo pa ang mahihirapan dahil sa iyo. Happy New Year!

And to the person whose life that someone made miserable, it's OK. There's nothing we can do. What happened, happened. It was just by chance. It was inevitable. Stop thinking about how you could've avoided it. Maybe it's just the Lord's will. He may be trying to tell you something. Nakakapanghinayang man iyon, it could be worse. Right now, what's really important is that you're safe. Try keeping your mind away from what happened by just patching up the damage.

Oh, Lord Jesus, thank you for keeping him safe...

And introducing... Angel II!

My mom couldn't wait for Aga to pass away (hyuk, ang sama e noh) to bring her in. She's so adorable. And so much like Angel. So, yes, we brought her in.

Although our other backyard cats aren't still used to her, so there were some mild catfights, but I hope it won't escalate into something worse, or else she'd go back out at the front gate again. At least until she gets spayed. We're planning to bring her to the vet Saturday next week to get her spayed so she won't be as territorial as she is now. She's going with Tootsie, he's also going under the knife to get neutered.

Vacation is boring, and I am eating a lot. Anyway at least I got much sleep.

That's all I can say to my trip to my aunt's place today.

They're not exactly well-off actually, so the place they were staying was quite at the edge of town, and most of the streets weren't concrete yet. So basically everything was dusty. We brought some stuff she can sell over there, some groceries for their sari-sari store, and some pizza for lunch.

Me and my sister gave some sound advice in selling stuff, but she just won't listen. She's selling underpriced products, no wonder she doesn't have enough for her family. We help her by giving her stuff to sell, but she's selling them way underpriced, so even if she doesn't need to pay us for what we give her, she's still not earning fair. Well, she won't listen, so, fine, hehehe.

Ang kulit pa ng bulilit na pinsan ko. Grabe! Patakbo-takbo kung saan-saan, hampas ng hampas ng yoyo sa mga gamit ng bahay. Pasaway! Di kasi dinidisiplina e, kaya hirap ngayon patinuin. Kuha pa ng kuha ng mga paninda sa tindahan. Sarap sapakin pero bata e, hehehe, wag naman (I'm such a war-freak). Mas matino pa yun pinsan ko sa uncle ko, para ngang siya yun anak e. Siya yun tumulong mag-ayos ng gamit sa bahay pagdating namin, nahiya pa siyang kumuha ng pizza, kahit anong alok namin. Sweet boy. Kung ganon lang sana pinsan ko. Sayang.

So, we stayed for a few hours there, bought some ice cream (inunahan pa ako ng pinsan kong makulit sa ice cream vendor, nag-order na ng Cornetto, e gusto kong magtipid, hahaha). Then basically tambay na lang... Kasama kasi ang maid namin e, tinopak at naglinis ng bahay ng auntie ko. E di pa tapos. Yun pala bukas na siya uuwi hahaha.

Kumita ng husto auntie ko ngayon. Inubos kasi namin yun parang bunutan niya sa sari-sari store niya. Yung tig-piso, tapos me ibubunot kang parang stub na may corresponding number. Then the number corresponds to the numbered prizes stapled on a board. The stubs were many times as much as the prizes themselves, so we have a small chance of winning. We won a handful of prizes, but our maid coveted the number 200-- a portable radio. Actually, tagal na niyang hinahanap yun e, ayaw lang bilhan ng mom ko kasi di makakatrabaho ng husto yun, baka masagasaan pa pag nagwawalis sa labas ng bahay namin. E naawa aku, nakikibunot na nga yun maid namin, dami na naibayad niya para mabunot yun. Hayun, nagpitch-in kami ng kapatid ko. Nun nakabunot ako ng isang prize, nilipat ko nalang yun prize na yun sa number 200 na slot. Tapos kinuha namin yun radio. Hahaha. Pasaway rin pala ako hahahaha. I'm sorry! It runs in the family.

Tapos pinagsabihan namin ng husto auntie ko. She was selling trapo at a very cheap price. As in. Php1 lang per piece. Huwaaaaat??!!! What was she planning to do? Buti nakisingit si pinsang Kulit. Ibebenta raw niya ng Php10 isa. Hahaha! Natawa ako dun, kahit sobra-sobra na yung presyo nun, at least mas magaling magbenta tong batang to hahaha.

We went home at around 4pm. I was sleepy because of the heavy traffic, and I really am excited to take a bath, since I'm sure very pore in my body is covered with dust. Waaah! But otherwise, it was just fun to pay my auntie a visit. I hope she learns how to handle her business soon.

---

I'm happy you liked your gift, pinaghirapan ko yan noh, gastos pa! Hahaha! And I liked your gift, hehehe. Thanks! Best year ever. Kahit muntik na akong umiyak kasi... you know. Hehehe. Sorry!

---

And to that someone out there. Thanks for being the light when my world just went dark. You're an angel. Stay sweet! Hehehe.

Oooohhh, my!

Much as I'd like to shop, I think it's time I should restrain myself from being a shopaholic.

November and December were the months wherein I've just gone crazy raiding the malls in search for just the pleasure of having that "shopping high". Last night was the last straw. Hahaha. No, I didn't feel bad about spending that much, just that it was then that I decided this should be the turning point of my dopamine-induced exhilaration. I should stop. No. Really. I should. Batukan niyo nga ako!

Maybe it's probably the result of trying to release the pent-up stress from working OT, and the fact that we have OT pay. But now, I should remind myself that I'm not doing OT now, so I can't afford to shop big-time and go to Starbucks everyday (hmmm, gusto ko mag-Starbucks! Waaaah!).

I just bought a tall, extra-hot Peppermint Hot Chocolate. Hahaha. Angkulet pa ng barista (parang si Sharmie, wehehehe).

These past few days have been really boring. Not very inspiring, I might say. It's the last few days before I go on leave, and it's mostly just a whirl of events. I didn't get to go to the company party (well, it's OK, it saved me some rest), I've been cruising the malls alone (hahaha, but made no difference, I bought stuff just the same). I am getting bored here, I want to go home. I'm sleepy.

Starting today...
... I'll shop less so I can save more.
... I'll expect less so I won't be disappointed as much.
... I'll daydream less so I can smile more.
... I'm going to be independent so there can be more of myself.
... I'm backing down, bit by bit, so things would be a lot easier.

Blind
by: Lifehouse

I was young but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless as he turned around to leave
And still I have the pain I have to carry
A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything would be like it was before
But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

After all this time
Would you ever wanna leave it
Maybe you could not believe it
That my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you will ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
And I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me dies when I let you go

OK, I really have no idea what to blog about right now-- actually, I was not in the mood for blogging (up till now)-- as pieces of topics just float around my head and just get all tangled-up. It's making me giddy. Anyhow this would be one of those entries that's just pure rambling.

Let's start with last night. Hmmm... I got to attend a year-end party of our project capability. It was really fun, since I've got to stay until the end of the party! Hehehe. I live FAR away, so I usually have no option but either to go home early or miss the party altogether. But thanks to KayKay for the suggestion of getting a place to stay, although it didn't actually push through (because of some receptionist problem), thanks for all your help! So it actually ended up with Sharmie and me staying at a friend's house (hey, you know who you are, thanks!), and thanks for Sharmie for accompanying me! Luv yah! And thanks for the cute, cuddly, pillow! Waaah! Sana yung red! Pero oks lang!

We had a really ego-shattering presentation for our project, and I must say, we just made fun of ourselves. We did a sort of an interpretative dance that is comprised mainly of ballet and a little modern moves, and we just basically squashed the dignity of all the guys in our group. Nevertheless, it was really fun.

I got a Dickies bag on our Bad Santa game of exchange gifts, and well, somebody took that bag away from me and so I had to choose another gift. I got another bag, but I must admit, it's better than the first one. It's an Adidas backpack. Yeah! Now I have my own bag when I play badminton!

The party started late, around 10pm, and I was really thankful that I now have a place to stay that night. It was one of the very few times that I actually finished a party. Everybody broke up by half past 12 midnight. I went to sleep at around 2am. I was so tired to feel sleepless from sleeping in a different place, so I was practically conked out up to 9am. Hehehe.

Anyway, we had to go by lunchtime, and I have to catch my sister when my uncle came to pick her up from school. So that he won't have to come back for me again. As I've said, we live far. Sana pagka-graduate ng shobe ko makapagtrabaho rin siya sa Makati para makakuha na rin kami ng condo somewhere nearby! Ang hirap ng laging nagmamadali! Andaming restrictions!

Hayun. This has become a long entry. I hope nobody got bored.

Oh, yeah, I'm thinking of cleaning up my blogsite early next year. So basically some of the entries are going to disappear without a trace. FYI only. Keep on tagging, just the same!

P.S. I haven't been finished shopping for gifts yet. Next week na lang ang gift mo. I'm looking for the perfect one for you this year. Happy Birthday!

First thing, I logged into my troublesome prepaid internet service provider, and after a lot of 'Page cannot be displayed' windows, I finally got through. And I just saw that my blogsite has just undergone some changes. I don't mind it that much, but... how the heck am I going to edit my entry using HTML tags? I have yet to find out. Wish me luck. Oooh... It's the checkbox down there. Lovely.

A lot of things have happened since my last entry into this site, and I must say, it was a harrowing experience for me. I don't even know where to begin, and I definitely am not in the mood for blogging these days, I don't know why. I haven't even been in the mood for shopping and eating. Hahaha. What is wrong with me?

I have been getting this weird, anxious gut feeling about something, but I couldn't quite figure it out. But anyhow, today, I felt better. I got myself to think of happy, comforting thoughts. Although every now and then this funny feeling just creeps up, something like butterflies in my stomach before a big stage performance or something. I feel like punching myself. I don't like this. I have no idea why, but it's eating at me. Maybe something will happen soon. I don't know, but I have a knack of sensing things that would happen. Help!

Hmmm... what happened the past week... Let's see... My aunt from America visited us after 9 years, and we had to pick her up from the airport. I had no idea what she looks like now, since it's been quite a while since she last visited us. So, at the airport, as usual, there were many people, and I had a hard time looking at the arrival times of my aunt's flight, since the airport apparently isn't using computerized screens for that-- they used whiteboards and stuck small tags that says whether the flight was delayed or arrived. Shucks. And they didn't even update it from time to time. Some technology. Once the time for my aunt's arrival came, I squeezed through the crowd and waited without any idea on what she looks like. And waited. Then I saw someone walk past towards the loading zone. That felt like my aunt. I just had a gut feeling that that was my Auntie. Turns out, it was her (see how accurate my gut instinct is?). She couldn't recognize me at first, but it was fortunate that I saw her on time, and that she was one of the few passengers that got off the plane first. We had a fine reunion, and I must say we talked a lot. She's quite a jolly person. I liked her a lot. Anyhow, she's already on her way home now, and I intend to keep in touch with her.

Other stuff that happened? It was just a blur. Depressing, but anyhow, I think I'm better. I've been starting to play badminton, and I have to admit it was the perfect exercise for me. I'm starting to tone up. It feels good to have those extra endorphins in my system.

I have an angry bruise on my right knee. Hahaha... I somehow incorporated volleyball into badminton.

Stupid, stupid Catsy!

... Of all the things I'm ever planning for,
This was the last thing on my mind...